Marriage

What does it take to make a marriage last “until death do us part”? The divorce rate in America is over 50%! That means that if you get married, and your friend gets married, it’s likely that one of those marriages will end in divorce.

I’ve been researching it online a bit…Is it a lack of knowing the person before you get married? Is it waiting too long to get married? Or is it just easier to give up?

I think that a lot of it has to do with the idea that you “deserve” this or that. What make a person deserve anything? It shouldn’t be this hard. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be happy, etc… Is love an emotion, or is love a choice? Do people get married because they are in love, and divorced because they fell out of love? Or were they just in love with the idea of being in love? Then, when it gets boring or somewhat monotonous, they say they aren’t in love anymore? I think that it has to be a healthy blend of emotion and choice. I think that you have to choose to love a person through the hard times. Obviously, it is work. It can’t always be a fairytale. When you get married though, you commit! You commit to forever, through good times and bad, sickness and health!

Part of what I have been reading online is questions to ask before you get married. I think that some people might be afraid to ask those questions because they don’t want to know the answer. At least I have had that thought in some of the relationships I have been in. I wanted to believe that we were going to live happily ever after. I chose to be blind and happy. It was too uncomfortable to have those conversations. I think it is important though. If you can’t have the conversations, how are you going to be able to survive in a marriage together?

What makes a good marriage? What makes two people compatible for marriage? I dated one guy who thought that it was important  to love all of the same things. This sucked. I was so in love with the guy that I totally tried to act like I loved everything he did. I ran outside in the winter, which I HATED! But I tried to do it with a smile painted on my face. I froze my butt off doing so many outdoor things, when I am simply not an outdoor girl. I don’t think that you have to like ALL of the same things. I think that you should have similar interests, but it should be ok to have your own hobbies as well. You shouldn't have to change yourself for a person to love you. Find someone that loves you the way you are.