A Ship in the Harbor

A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for.  ~John A. Shedd

Many great ideas have been lost because the people who had them could not stand being laughed at.  ~Author Unknown

What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?  ~Robert H. Schuller


My resolution for the New Year was to stop caring, or care less about what people think of me. I don't think I have done too well, but I am still trying. Obviously, it isn't something that you can just achieve overnight...I don't think.

There are lots of risks I would never dream of taking because they weren't fool proof, or because I was afraid of what people would think. I've always wanted to get a short haircut, super short. I've never done it though because I was afraid that it wouldn't look good and that people would make fun of me. I have an appointment on Friday though, and think I might just try it. I will never know  if I like it unless I actually try it! Much like many things in life. I never liked mushrooms and wouldn't eat them. Then, I moved in with Craig and Carolyn and couldn't say I didn't like mushrooms. So I ate them every time Carolyn put them in something. I now LOVE mushrooms! How silly. I might end up with a horrendous haircut, but I also might end up with a haircut I love! Even if it is horrible, it will grow back, right?

I know that there are many bigger risks in life. I watched a lot of Criminal minds when I was in Tennessee. I know better...LOL. But I love the show. After watching a few episodes, I started thinking that I was never going to put Elliot in his own room, or that I wouldn't let him have a room on another level of a house. I was too afraid of something happening and not being in control. I realize this is not fair to him though. It is much like building a ship and then keeping it tied up in a harbor so it doesn't get damaged. What a shame! As much as I would like to, I can't shelter Elliot from the whole world. I could try, but how many good things would he miss out on as well? I think it is just a mother's heart though, to want to protect your child from getting his feelings hurt.

What great things would you do if there was no risk? Better yet, what things do you want to do but don't because you are too afraid?

At What Cost?

"How many have pulled down their souls to build up their estate?"

-Thomas Watson

I turned 25 today. I never get wigged out by turning another year older. I am usually excited, and love my birthday. I don't think I'll be one to have a "midlife crisis". I did have a moment of shame or embarrassment last night though, thinking about where I "should" be in life. My mom asked a good question though. She asked me if I would trade the last year, and trade Elliot, to be where people think I should be at in my life. No way in H E double hockey sticks! I would not trade Elliot for a million, trillion dollars! I can live with the debt I got myself into, and everything else, as long as I have God, my family, and my son.

Sure, I'd like to be out of debt sooner rather than later, but I don't have to let that desire drive me so much that I lose sight of the more important things. At my current rate, I can be out of debt in about 4 years. In four years, Elliot will be five. I don't want to look back in four years and wish I knew my son better.

Have you seen Madam Blueberry, the Veggie Tales movie? She is sad, so she goes to Stuff Mart and buys everything she sees, but none of it makes her any happier. There is a beautiful song in that movie that says, "A thankful heart is a happy heart. That's why I say thanks every day!" Madam blueberry sees a family celebrating their child's birthday. They only have one piece of cake and they are sharing it, and are happy. She realizes that it isn't what you have that makes you happy.

I'm 25. I have a lot of debt, and I live with my parents again. I had a career for 6 years, lived on my own and wasn't very happy. Honestly though, I am more happy with my life now than I have been in years. God blessed me with a wonderful, funny, smart, beautiful little boy...the desire of my heart. This has been the best birthday so far.