Bitterness

Joyce Meyer said, "I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to live with bitterness and forgiveness. I like to say that it is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. And it really is harmful for us to live this way."

I have been thinking about the above quote a lot this week. How do you get your enemy to drink the poison instead? Just kidding. Although, my mom would say, "The truth is often spoken in jest." Haha. Bitterness really is an evil root. It can consume you.

I often talk about the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." This movie was strange, but good. I've had discussions with friends on whether or not they would erase someone from their memory if they were given the option. Personally, if I could, I would. I am not one of those, "I have no regrets. Those experiences made me who I am today," kind of person. I would erase the memories and person in a heartbeat. I know that I, and my husband, would be better off if I could. Haha. My husband wouldn't have to tell me that I have him confused with someone else when I question the meaning of everything he says or does. Why is it that the person we marry usually has to pay the price for the mistakes of the losers we didn't marry?

Anyway, we were talking about this together. He is the total opposite of me, and that is great because he balances us out. LOL. He just lets everything roll off his shoulders. He said you can't hold onto bad things because people do crappy things, and you just have to forget about it because that's the way the world is. How do you do that though? How do you not be bitter? How do you forgive someone that doesn't even care? Or even if it isn't about forgiving them, how do you not let your past hurts influence who you are today?

Dr. Irene says, "Bitterness is the result of powerlessness in the face of anger. Bitterness is a trap that takes you away from dealing with what you have to deal with. It keeps you stuck. Stay in the here and now with your feelings. Take your power each and every day, in each of the hundreds of little interactions that make up daily life. As you begin to take control of your life, you will no longer be left with a sense of powerlessness. Your anger and bitterness will melt."

What do you think? Everyone has experiences they didn't like. How did you/do you deal with them?

Did I forget my Manual for Raising Children?

Sometimes I wish that life would give you a manual for how to raise children...With exact directions and pictures just to make sure you get it right! Here are a few good questions I need answers for:

• What do you do when your one year old poops in the tub and thinks he found a candy bar? How do you keep him from pooping in the tub every time he takes a bath, even if he pooped ten minutes earlier?
• When your one year old grabs his brothers wiener schnitzel, how do you do keep from laughing so he won't do it again?
• What do you do when your one year old has decided you are his personal snack shack and just screams, "BOOO," when he sees you? I don't even think he knows he is screaming it anymore. Haha
• How do you stop the same one year old from screaming like a pterodactyl when he wants something, needs something, is bored, or just because it's 2 p.m.?
• How do you keep your three year old from practicing his stunts for the next dare devil movie, and thus giving you a heart attack? Do all toddlers think they are spider man and can literally climb anything and everything? 
• Are two year old children capable of pre-meditating naughty behavior? He told me he was going to get in trouble and when I asked why, he swiped everything off the table and ran!

And lastly, how do you keep your sanity while raising children? What's the difference between "letting boys be boys," and letting them be maniacs?!?! LOL. It has been a rough day. I love my boys more than life itself, but boy am I glad for bedtime tonight! In all seriousness though, I know in thirty minutes I will be gazing at them lovingly, asking: 

• How did these boys get so freakin' cute?
• How can I possibly "hug you little," Elliot? I want to squeeze you and never let go.
• How I can keep from kissing their cheeks into oblivion?
• Why did God give me these two, perfect, little boys?

Has it been thirty minutes yet? Hahaha

A person's a person no matter how small

"Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body." 1 Corinthians 12:15-20

I have often wondered how in the world we could possibly know that no two snowflakes are exactly alike. I'm sorry, but I just can't believe that we can say that with certainty. However, I do believe we can say that no two people on earth are exactly the same. And thank God! 

I know that people tend to wish they had certain abilities or characteristics that others have, like playing an instrument, weighing more or less, or having curly hair. My sister, Holly, and brother, Jake, are both artists. I have always wished that I had that gift. I have always wanted curly hair as well.

I think we spend too much time thinking about what we wish we could do or look like, and not enough time on what we are! Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" We can't all play the piano, be amazing artists, 6 foot supermodels, etc... Imagine what we could do if we focused on the abilities and characteristics we do have instead of those we don't! 

Just like that verse says, a body wouldn't be able to function properly if it was made up of only ears, or feet! We are all different, and all needed! Don't let someone, or yourself, make you feel unneeded or worthless. You bring something to this world. One of my favorite quotes is, "To the world, you may just be one person; but to one person, you may just be the world." Even that person you can't stand, they are someone's best friend! I had a boss once that would notice odd couples walking down the street at times and exclaim, "there's someone for everyone." It always made me laugh, but it is true!

You were made for something. I know, and have always known in my heart, that I was put on this earth to be a wife and mom. It isn't for everyone, but it is certainly for me. It may not be enough for other women, but it is for me. What if I was put here, just so my children would be born and be someone great? You are here for a reason. Find out what it is and give it your all.

Love Languages

Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages. If you haven't read it, you should. Every person has a love language. How do you show and receive love? This is your love language. There are five love languages: gifts, quality time, acts of service (cooking for them, cleaning, etc), words of affirmation (I love you, you're pretty, you're the best, etc), and touch. 

In every relationship, you should examine each of your love languages. If you know each other's love languages, you know how to love them better! Otherwise you can each be using your own love language all day long and they don't get it because you aren't speaking their love language. If you ask each other how they feel loved, then you can better understand them. It might not be how you show or feel love, but that's the point of asking. It may not feel natural to you, but it will better your relationship. 

I'm sure my husband doesn't like spending 5 minutes in the card aisle looking for a girly card, but that time means more to me than buying me a box of chocolates. My husband could spend all of his money showering me with gifts, but what I really want is him to tell me he loves me or thinks I am pretty. A card says more than anything to me. I think most kids love language is certainly gifts or quality time. Or maybe all of the languages...What do you think? My kids NEED me to cook and clean for them, but do they feel loved because I do? Probably not. More than anything, they love it when I play with them. My mother is definitely an acts of service person. She would much prefer I did the dishes for her than anything else...Although, they probably wouldn't sit in the dish rack the "right" way. Haha! 

I think all of our relationships could improve by taking a look at our love languages and communicating to the other person what that is. When I was talking to my husband about the book, I told him my love languages were Quality time and Words of Affirmation. His retort was, "What? You're telling me you're bilingual?!?" It made me laugh. He listened though. I have received two or three beautiful cards from him since then . That speaks VOLUMES to me. :-)