Time goes by so fast. Why does it move so quickly as an adult, and seem like it crawls by as a child? I was reminded how fast time flies this morning, as my boys were snuggled up with me. Elliot wrapped his arms around me and I remembered something I never wanted to forget. For the first few months of his life, whenever he would nurse he would literally oink like a baby pig. "Oya oya oya." It was so hilariously cute. Ethan was nicknamed our "Farty Bear." He constantly sounded like he was blasting off. Once, at the doctors office, he farted SOOOO LOUD! Josh looked at me in horror because he thought it was me. He said there was no way that noise came from a baby. We were rolling with laughter. There are a million of these silly little things that I never want to forget.
This pregnancy has been a rough one for sure. I have often wanted to fast forward to April. If I could do that without missing out on this time with my boys, I would certainly do it. Though, when they were both born, I remember just praying that God would make time feel like it was crawling again. I know that before I know it, this baby growing inside me will be turning one, walking, talking, and asking to be set down. I wish I could keep my babies small forever. This makes Elliot sad. He always says he wants to be a big boy, and then I have to pretend like the thought doesn't make me want to bawl like a baby.
Some people may think I wrap myself up in my kids too much. I disagree. Everyone has a calling in life, something they were meant to do. Everyone has a different calling. I know, and have known since I was a kid myself, that my calling was to be a wife and mom. That doesn't mean that this will be my only purpose in life, or my purpose forever. But at this moment in time, this is what I am meant to do. This is what I want to do. I know it's not for everyone. It is hard sometimes, but it is so rewarding. It's the best thing I have ever done, and God has blessed me so much. I am so thankful that he gave me the desires of my heart. I hope the next 18 years slow down a bit. Life is wonderful, life is heart breaking, life is hard, life is beautiful. I am so blessed to be able to watch it happen from this perspective. We may not have it all from the world's perspective, but we are truly rich.
We Are Our Own Worst Critics
I am sure you have heard the old saying, "we are our own worst critics." I've heard it a thousand times. I'm sure it is true, but it still doesn't make you feel better when you are looking at some flaw you may have. I have always hated my hair. It is straight, thin, and super fine. It's impossible to do anything with it. Curls don't hold, and it pretty much just lays there, flat. Sara Evans sings, "all the straight haired girls, oh they all want curls, and the brunettes want to be blonde." That's how I have always felt.
Well, my oldest son, Elliot, has always had this thing with my hair...it's like his security blanket or something. He falls asleep with his hands all twisted up in it. He likes to sit next to me and run his hands through it while he drinks his juice. He has a super human ability to know when I am putting it up in a hair tie, or "hair comb" as he calls it. He automatically runs to me, repeating, "want your hair like a square," over and over. Don't ask me what "hair like a square" means...I'm not too sure, other than I know it means that he wants it down. Hahaha. As much as I have always hated my hair and envied every other girl's hair, my son loves it even more than I hate it.
We spend so much time trying to change ourselves to be someone else...someone we think is more acceptable. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just find the people that accept us as we are? I won a free haircut a month ago, and asked my husband to help me pick a haircut. He only wanted me to trim it because he said it likes it long. I asked, "even when it just lays there all flat and stringy?" He said yes.
My cousin is currently doing a 30 day experiment. She is avoiding all mirrors for 30 days. She isn't wearing makeup or styling her hair. There is a lot more to this experiment, but basically, she is just being herself. I think it is a wonderful experiment that more people should do! She said it has been really hard, essentially baring herself to the world. I encourage you to read her full blog at http://theanti-mirrorexperiment.blogspot.com/2013/08/welcome-to-my-purity-pursuit.html There is so much more than the little that I have mentioned, and it is really worth the read.
I understand a little of what she is going through. Before I had kids, I wouldn't leave my house without makeup on or curling my hair. I was extremely insecure with what I looked like, even with makeup on. I haven't really changed. I am still insecure, but I just don't have the energy to do all that anymore. I'll put mascara on occasionally, but I don't remember the last time I curled my hair. Hahaha. It is a huge change to go through though. You literally feel naked.
All that to say, we really are our own worst critics! Sure, we all have flaws. If we surround ourselves with the people that really love us though, they see us differently. They see us through eyes of love. They love us for who we really are, not someone we are trying to be. When I dyed my hair blonde a few months ago, my son cried all night. He begged me to turn it back to brown. When I said I couldn't, he asked me to put it back in the towel. He didn't need me to be someone else. He just wanted the me that he knew. Those are the people that we should surround ourselves with. Sure, the people around us should be a little more flexible, but they should love us for who we are. Not that we shouldn't take care of ourselves either, but we shouldn't have to work so hard to look like something we aren't.
Well, my oldest son, Elliot, has always had this thing with my hair...it's like his security blanket or something. He falls asleep with his hands all twisted up in it. He likes to sit next to me and run his hands through it while he drinks his juice. He has a super human ability to know when I am putting it up in a hair tie, or "hair comb" as he calls it. He automatically runs to me, repeating, "want your hair like a square," over and over. Don't ask me what "hair like a square" means...I'm not too sure, other than I know it means that he wants it down. Hahaha. As much as I have always hated my hair and envied every other girl's hair, my son loves it even more than I hate it.
We spend so much time trying to change ourselves to be someone else...someone we think is more acceptable. Wouldn't it be so much easier to just find the people that accept us as we are? I won a free haircut a month ago, and asked my husband to help me pick a haircut. He only wanted me to trim it because he said it likes it long. I asked, "even when it just lays there all flat and stringy?" He said yes.
My cousin is currently doing a 30 day experiment. She is avoiding all mirrors for 30 days. She isn't wearing makeup or styling her hair. There is a lot more to this experiment, but basically, she is just being herself. I think it is a wonderful experiment that more people should do! She said it has been really hard, essentially baring herself to the world. I encourage you to read her full blog at http://theanti-mirrorexperiment.blogspot.com/2013/08/welcome-to-my-purity-pursuit.html There is so much more than the little that I have mentioned, and it is really worth the read.
I understand a little of what she is going through. Before I had kids, I wouldn't leave my house without makeup on or curling my hair. I was extremely insecure with what I looked like, even with makeup on. I haven't really changed. I am still insecure, but I just don't have the energy to do all that anymore. I'll put mascara on occasionally, but I don't remember the last time I curled my hair. Hahaha. It is a huge change to go through though. You literally feel naked.
All that to say, we really are our own worst critics! Sure, we all have flaws. If we surround ourselves with the people that really love us though, they see us differently. They see us through eyes of love. They love us for who we really are, not someone we are trying to be. When I dyed my hair blonde a few months ago, my son cried all night. He begged me to turn it back to brown. When I said I couldn't, he asked me to put it back in the towel. He didn't need me to be someone else. He just wanted the me that he knew. Those are the people that we should surround ourselves with. Sure, the people around us should be a little more flexible, but they should love us for who we are. Not that we shouldn't take care of ourselves either, but we shouldn't have to work so hard to look like something we aren't.
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