“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu
Why do we resist change so much? I use to think that is something we learn, but now I am not sure. I dyed my hair yesterday, for the first time since before I got pregnant with Elliot. He was NOT happy! He has always had an obsession with my hair. He plays with it to calm himself down, to fall asleep, or when he is drinking milk. It is like his pacifier, I guess. He is a creature of habit, and he is only three! He does not like change one bit. He doesn't like Gaga Cindy to ever take her glasses off, and Gaga Deb can't put hers on. I knew that dying my hair might pose a problem, but I thought that as long as I didn't cut it short, it would be fine. Well...he cried for over an hour. He cried, "turn it back brown mommy. I don't like your yellow hair. Put the towel back one." Like I said earlier, he usually falls asleep with his hands in my hair. I asked him if he wanted just one strand out of the towel, but he said, "No, please put it back in the towel."
It got me thinking about change though. I don't like change either. I think most people resist change. In this case, Elliot hated change so much that he refused something he usually loves so much. Do we do the same thing? For instance, when a best friend gets married, but you are still single. Or when your friends are having babies, but you aren't at that point in your life yet. We stop calling as much, or don't hang out as much. Why do we push something or someone we love so much away instead of embracing the changes? Just like the quote at the top says, resisting the changes only brings sorrow. It doesn't stop the changes from occurring.
Life doesn't stop moving. We can't stay in one place. “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back." ― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym
Maya Angelou said, “Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” I've done this before...stayed in a relationship that was not good for me, nor what I wanted, because I was afraid of change. Or kept a job I hated because I was afraid of starting over.
Sometimes change is painful, even good change. You can't have a child without going through the pain of childbirth. Moving to TN was one of the hardest things I've done, but I knew it was a good change. Isaiah 66:9 says, "In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord." If we hadn't moved to TN, we would still be in a tiny condo with my children looking out the window at the outside world...not running around in the grass and sun. (Our condo was lovely, and definitely a blessing. It was just too small for our growing family.)
Embrace change. Even if it takes everything you have inside you. Don't let a friend go just because they are at a different stage in their life. Celebrate this time. If you hate your job, take a risk and find one you love. Make the most of this life!
Here are some more quotes about change that I like.
“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” ― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay
Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
RATTLESNAKE!!!
Well, we have been in Tennessee for almost three months now and no one has died! I came close to death the other day though...The kids and I were walking down the road and I swear I heard a rattlesnake in the woods. I told Elliot that I was sorry but we had to turn around and go home. I kept hearing that same sound every time we were outside, at the park, or at Gaga Deb's. Turns out...they were just crickets. When I tell the story, though, it will be a rattlesnake. Just kidding.
In the last three months, I have seen many new things! Four dead deer, Godzilla sized "waspers" and bees, gigantic ant hills, numerous bugs, and a few too many spiders for my comfort. Poppy Bob and Gaga Deb even found a baby snake in their yard! However, like I said earlier, no one has died. Elliot might have to suffer through me tucking his pants into his socks for a while, but he will at least be outside!
It is weird to think about how different our lives are growing up. Living in Alaska, it wasn't weird to look out our kitchen window and see a dead moose hanging from our balcony...ready to be butchered. Or another fun memory, tying old car hoods to the back of a snowmachine and taking turns being pulled around. I don't think my cousins in California grew up this way...
I am glad to say that, although I might start suffering from high blood pressure, my kids will enjoy a childhood with room to roam and wide open spaces.
In the last three months, I have seen many new things! Four dead deer, Godzilla sized "waspers" and bees, gigantic ant hills, numerous bugs, and a few too many spiders for my comfort. Poppy Bob and Gaga Deb even found a baby snake in their yard! However, like I said earlier, no one has died. Elliot might have to suffer through me tucking his pants into his socks for a while, but he will at least be outside!
It is weird to think about how different our lives are growing up. Living in Alaska, it wasn't weird to look out our kitchen window and see a dead moose hanging from our balcony...ready to be butchered. Or another fun memory, tying old car hoods to the back of a snowmachine and taking turns being pulled around. I don't think my cousins in California grew up this way...
I am glad to say that, although I might start suffering from high blood pressure, my kids will enjoy a childhood with room to roam and wide open spaces.
It's the little things
Your children need your presence more than your presents. — Jesse Jackson
I was thinking about my childhood, and the things that I remember the most. My mom and I would sit on the brick wall outside my Aunt's house and recite, "Star Light, Star Bright." That is probably one of my favorite memories. We also collected anything in the shape of a heart. I think we had 30 something hearts. One fourth of July we tried to make a t-pee (sp?).
My point is that I don't remember every gift we ever got for Christmas or birthdays. The things I remember the most are the things my parents did with us. It is so hard to get caught up in gift giving during holidays and birthdays. As a parent myself now, I want to give my kids the world. It is stressful when you can't, even though I know they won't even remember.
At the same time, I don't want to look back in thirty years and wish I had spent more time with my kids. I want to know that I did my best, and that I truly knew them. I know it is impossible to not have any regrets. I already do have regrets. There are many days I wish I could redo, but there are many that I wish I could relive over and over.
My oldest just turned three. I can't believe how fast time flew by. It seems like yesterday when I heard his little goat cry, and saw his grumpy little face for the first time. I wish I could go back to that day and hold his tiny self one more time. This age is wonderful too, though. Nothing can beat the emotion I feel when he throws his arms around my neck and says, "I loooove you, mommy!"
What do you remember the most from your childhood? If you have kids, I urge you to spend more time with them, and perhaps less money. "Where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." This goes for both us and our kids. What do we want them to think matters the most in life? I know I want my kids to value people more than material things.
I was thinking about my childhood, and the things that I remember the most. My mom and I would sit on the brick wall outside my Aunt's house and recite, "Star Light, Star Bright." That is probably one of my favorite memories. We also collected anything in the shape of a heart. I think we had 30 something hearts. One fourth of July we tried to make a t-pee (sp?).
My point is that I don't remember every gift we ever got for Christmas or birthdays. The things I remember the most are the things my parents did with us. It is so hard to get caught up in gift giving during holidays and birthdays. As a parent myself now, I want to give my kids the world. It is stressful when you can't, even though I know they won't even remember.
At the same time, I don't want to look back in thirty years and wish I had spent more time with my kids. I want to know that I did my best, and that I truly knew them. I know it is impossible to not have any regrets. I already do have regrets. There are many days I wish I could redo, but there are many that I wish I could relive over and over.
My oldest just turned three. I can't believe how fast time flew by. It seems like yesterday when I heard his little goat cry, and saw his grumpy little face for the first time. I wish I could go back to that day and hold his tiny self one more time. This age is wonderful too, though. Nothing can beat the emotion I feel when he throws his arms around my neck and says, "I loooove you, mommy!"
What do you remember the most from your childhood? If you have kids, I urge you to spend more time with them, and perhaps less money. "Where your treasure is, there your heart will also be." This goes for both us and our kids. What do we want them to think matters the most in life? I know I want my kids to value people more than material things.
Don't Hug Me Too Tight...
"Don't hug me too tight, mommy. Hug me little." Elliot tells me this when we are cuddling. This is probably one of the hardest thing for me to do. There is a book I love to read him called "Sleep Baby Sleep." One line that always makes me cry is, "Grow, baby, grow. From our arms you will go. Unfurling like a butterfly, cocoon opening to the sky. Grow, baby, grow."
I was thinking about my last blog post, and sheltering my children from the world. It is so hard to let my boys get too far from me..anywhere. Inside or outside. I am so scared of them getting hurt, whether physically or emotionally. That might be one of the first things I miss after I give birth. They just feel so much safer inside my belly...Although, when they are in my belly, I worry about everything that can hurt them then too! It must just be an instinct from the second of conception. I want to protect my children from any possible hurt and danger.
Moving to Tennessee has definitely given me plenty of opportunities to grow in this area. I took the boys to the park and we went walking around the track. It took everything in me to not make Elliot sit in the double stroller. Then, I found myself begging him to stay on the track and not stray onto the grass. I mean, goodness gracious, a tick might find him!
Before we moved to Tennessee, I wasn't even brave enough to go to the store with both boys by myself. I was afraid that someone would hijack the car when I was walking around from one carseat to the other! Yes, I know I am neurotic! I am making great strides though! I have gone many places with them here!
It's a good thing Elliot is only turning three and not 5. I am not ready for school yet. I am still trying to talk Josh into letting me homeschool the boys. I am not even ready for the next part of the book... "Soar, baby, soar. The whole world you'll explore. Fly like the goose who climbs and roams, yet always knows his way back home. Soar, baby, soar." I just want to hold them close and never let go.
I was thinking about my last blog post, and sheltering my children from the world. It is so hard to let my boys get too far from me..anywhere. Inside or outside. I am so scared of them getting hurt, whether physically or emotionally. That might be one of the first things I miss after I give birth. They just feel so much safer inside my belly...Although, when they are in my belly, I worry about everything that can hurt them then too! It must just be an instinct from the second of conception. I want to protect my children from any possible hurt and danger.
Moving to Tennessee has definitely given me plenty of opportunities to grow in this area. I took the boys to the park and we went walking around the track. It took everything in me to not make Elliot sit in the double stroller. Then, I found myself begging him to stay on the track and not stray onto the grass. I mean, goodness gracious, a tick might find him!
Before we moved to Tennessee, I wasn't even brave enough to go to the store with both boys by myself. I was afraid that someone would hijack the car when I was walking around from one carseat to the other! Yes, I know I am neurotic! I am making great strides though! I have gone many places with them here!
It's a good thing Elliot is only turning three and not 5. I am not ready for school yet. I am still trying to talk Josh into letting me homeschool the boys. I am not even ready for the next part of the book... "Soar, baby, soar. The whole world you'll explore. Fly like the goose who climbs and roams, yet always knows his way back home. Soar, baby, soar." I just want to hold them close and never let go.
15 Minutes of Fame
I know it is a cliche saying, but seriously...what has this world come to?!?! When people get so desperate for fame and/or money that the first idea that comes to them is to make a sex tape and "accidentally" leak it to the public, something is seriously wrong. A person shouldn't be that desperate for fame or fortune. Does anyone have any shame anymore?
For those of you who aren't dorks and don't follow Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham just pulled the sex tape stunt. She stepped it up a notch though, (or maybe down a notch) and actually hired a professional to do the tape with her. I don't understand how someone could do this, especially when they have a four year old daughter that will eventually grow up and know about it. It isn't like she even needs the money! She has a pasta sauce out, a book, money from filming teen mom, modeling, and supposedly a restaurant too! Apparently she hadn't been in the headlines enough, though.
When I was in high school, I remember writing an essay about how there aren't any moral standards left. We go to a store, and the dirty magazines are front and center. We have more of an inclination to hide our morals in the brown paper wrapper than we do those magazines! It's no big deal anymore for someone to be caught in an affair, or other scandal. We can pretty much expect any Hollywood marriage to fail...even regular marriages. On Days of Our Lives, yes I said Days of Our Lives, there is a character who is ashamed and embarrassed that she is 20 something and still a virgin. How sad.
If you try and shelter your children from this world, people think you are making your kids "weird." I don't want my children to grow up just waiting for another school shooting, or bombing. I want them to grow up jumping in mud puddles, catching bugs (as long as they aren't the kind that terrify me), riding their bicycles down dirt roads, and playing baseball. Maybe I should have had kids 30 years ago...
For those of you who aren't dorks and don't follow Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham just pulled the sex tape stunt. She stepped it up a notch though, (or maybe down a notch) and actually hired a professional to do the tape with her. I don't understand how someone could do this, especially when they have a four year old daughter that will eventually grow up and know about it. It isn't like she even needs the money! She has a pasta sauce out, a book, money from filming teen mom, modeling, and supposedly a restaurant too! Apparently she hadn't been in the headlines enough, though.
When I was in high school, I remember writing an essay about how there aren't any moral standards left. We go to a store, and the dirty magazines are front and center. We have more of an inclination to hide our morals in the brown paper wrapper than we do those magazines! It's no big deal anymore for someone to be caught in an affair, or other scandal. We can pretty much expect any Hollywood marriage to fail...even regular marriages. On Days of Our Lives, yes I said Days of Our Lives, there is a character who is ashamed and embarrassed that she is 20 something and still a virgin. How sad.
If you try and shelter your children from this world, people think you are making your kids "weird." I don't want my children to grow up just waiting for another school shooting, or bombing. I want them to grow up jumping in mud puddles, catching bugs (as long as they aren't the kind that terrify me), riding their bicycles down dirt roads, and playing baseball. Maybe I should have had kids 30 years ago...
You can lead a horse to water...
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can potty train a child, but you can't make him use the toilet! What is the deal with kids and potty training? Before Ethan was born, Elliot was almost potty trained. Then after Ethan was born, he absolutely refused to go near the toilet.
Right before we moved to Tennessee, I asked him if he was going to use the potty in Tennessee. He looked at me like I was an idiot, and said, "of course!" So, we got to Tennessee, and as promised, he went potty on the potty chair a few times. Yesterday, he went 5 times. I went to bed excited and hopeful that we would soon be a household with only one child in diapers again. Fast forward to this morning, and he is flat out refusing again!
Is it a control thing? Does he just want me to know that I may be the mom, but I am not always the boss? Is this the one thing that he has complete control over? Is it a jealousy thing? Does he just want to be the baby like Ethan?
I have tried and exhausted every incentive. I have bribed him with candy, money, stickers, toys...I have even tried simply telling him that this is what he has to do. He is a big boy and diapers are expensive. He doesn't care! I even made him a chart, for the OCD in him. Somebody, please help me!
Right before we moved to Tennessee, I asked him if he was going to use the potty in Tennessee. He looked at me like I was an idiot, and said, "of course!" So, we got to Tennessee, and as promised, he went potty on the potty chair a few times. Yesterday, he went 5 times. I went to bed excited and hopeful that we would soon be a household with only one child in diapers again. Fast forward to this morning, and he is flat out refusing again!
Is it a control thing? Does he just want me to know that I may be the mom, but I am not always the boss? Is this the one thing that he has complete control over? Is it a jealousy thing? Does he just want to be the baby like Ethan?
I have tried and exhausted every incentive. I have bribed him with candy, money, stickers, toys...I have even tried simply telling him that this is what he has to do. He is a big boy and diapers are expensive. He doesn't care! I even made him a chart, for the OCD in him. Somebody, please help me!
There's No Place Like Home
My lifelong dream, other than to become a wife and mother, was to get out of Alaska. I have always hated the extreme cold and snow. I only stayed as long as I did because I loved my family so much. Everyone always says they live in Alaska for "the awesome summers." However, I don't think we have had an "awesome summer" in years! We get what, 10 sunny days a year?!? Not worth it!
Well, my family and I finally got out. My two sons and I are now in Spring City, TN! My husband will be down here in May. It's beautiful, it's warm, it's sunny...What else could a girl ask for?
Maybe when I was saying my prayers, I should have asked God to kill all the bugs! These bug are unlike anything I've ever seen. I'm not kidding you. I hear the bees bouncing off the tin roof of the carport, and it sounds like a baseball hitting a bat! These are Godzilla bees. The "waspers" look like something out of a horror movie. Don't forget about the bugs left unseen so far...ticks, spiders, snakes. I can literally FEEL my blood pressure rising every time I take my boys outside to play. I am terrified of what threats lurk behind each blade of grass. My mom begged me to pull Elliot's jeans out of his socks. LOL. The neighbors probably think I am insane. I'm constantly running around and screaming at the bees. I was praying for thunder and rain today, just so I had an excuse for why we couldn't play outside.
The locals say that I will eventually acclimate and get use to the bugs...Really? I sure hope so! I really don't want to pass on my neurotic behavior to my sons. How do you get use to bugs boring into your skin though? As Elliot would say, "Go away bugs! Nobody wants you here!"
Do you think my husband will buy me enough basil to soak in water and spray our one acre of land? To keep the ticks away? Lord, seriously...help me. I'm not quite to the point of clicking my heels together three times, though. I don't miss the iceland that much!
Well, my family and I finally got out. My two sons and I are now in Spring City, TN! My husband will be down here in May. It's beautiful, it's warm, it's sunny...What else could a girl ask for?
Maybe when I was saying my prayers, I should have asked God to kill all the bugs! These bug are unlike anything I've ever seen. I'm not kidding you. I hear the bees bouncing off the tin roof of the carport, and it sounds like a baseball hitting a bat! These are Godzilla bees. The "waspers" look like something out of a horror movie. Don't forget about the bugs left unseen so far...ticks, spiders, snakes. I can literally FEEL my blood pressure rising every time I take my boys outside to play. I am terrified of what threats lurk behind each blade of grass. My mom begged me to pull Elliot's jeans out of his socks. LOL. The neighbors probably think I am insane. I'm constantly running around and screaming at the bees. I was praying for thunder and rain today, just so I had an excuse for why we couldn't play outside.
The locals say that I will eventually acclimate and get use to the bugs...Really? I sure hope so! I really don't want to pass on my neurotic behavior to my sons. How do you get use to bugs boring into your skin though? As Elliot would say, "Go away bugs! Nobody wants you here!"
Do you think my husband will buy me enough basil to soak in water and spray our one acre of land? To keep the ticks away? Lord, seriously...help me. I'm not quite to the point of clicking my heels together three times, though. I don't miss the iceland that much!
Forgiveness
I follow a blog called Post Secret. If you haven't heard of it, check it out. People from all over the world send this guy, Frank, their deepest secrets. They are all anonymous. He then publishes them, online and in books. Last week, there was a secret that said, "Sometimes you just need to tell the people you love that you love them." I am one of those people that has a hard time letting go. I don't have many friends, just a few close friends. I prefer it that way though. When I saw that secret, it really struck my heart. I have a few friends that I use to be close to but am not anymore.
I know that we all grow and change as we age. Some friends stick with us, and some friends fall by the wayside. That is just life. However, if there are people or friends that you let go because of arguments or petty disagreements, I encourage you to make it right if you can. Don't let time go by without letting people know that you care about them. It really hit me that if God can forgive us of everything we have done and will do in our lifetime, why can't we forgive others?
Two quotes have stuck with me the last couple of years..."Hurt People hurt people," and "holding on to bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." We hurt others because we have been hurt. Most of the time, we can be sitting there stewing over words said and the other person is totally unaware that you are even upset. We think we are punishing them by being silent, but we are really hurting ourselves. Try to slow down and look at things from both sides. Why did they say the things they said, or do the things they did? Probably because they were hurt also.
If the person meant or means enough to you, don't let the sun go down on your anger. If there is someone out there that you miss and love, knock on that door. It might not be locked as tight as you think it is. They might be waiting too. Even if the door is locked, maybe you will at least get some healing for your own heart. Life is too short to continue on in anger and bitterness.
I know that we all grow and change as we age. Some friends stick with us, and some friends fall by the wayside. That is just life. However, if there are people or friends that you let go because of arguments or petty disagreements, I encourage you to make it right if you can. Don't let time go by without letting people know that you care about them. It really hit me that if God can forgive us of everything we have done and will do in our lifetime, why can't we forgive others?
Two quotes have stuck with me the last couple of years..."Hurt People hurt people," and "holding on to bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." We hurt others because we have been hurt. Most of the time, we can be sitting there stewing over words said and the other person is totally unaware that you are even upset. We think we are punishing them by being silent, but we are really hurting ourselves. Try to slow down and look at things from both sides. Why did they say the things they said, or do the things they did? Probably because they were hurt also.
If the person meant or means enough to you, don't let the sun go down on your anger. If there is someone out there that you miss and love, knock on that door. It might not be locked as tight as you think it is. They might be waiting too. Even if the door is locked, maybe you will at least get some healing for your own heart. Life is too short to continue on in anger and bitterness.
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