Change

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

Why do we resist change so much? I use to think that is something we learn, but now I am not sure.  I dyed my hair yesterday, for the first time since before I got pregnant with Elliot. He was NOT happy! He has always had an obsession with my hair. He plays with it to calm himself down, to fall asleep, or when he is drinking milk. It is like his pacifier, I guess. He is a creature of habit, and he is only three! He does not like change one bit. He doesn't like Gaga Cindy to ever take her glasses off, and Gaga Deb can't put hers on. I knew that dying my hair might pose a problem, but I thought that as long as I didn't cut it short, it would be fine. Well...he cried for over an hour. He cried, "turn it back brown mommy. I don't like your yellow hair. Put the towel back one." Like I said earlier, he usually falls asleep with his hands in my hair. I asked him if he wanted just one strand out of the towel, but he said, "No, please put it back in the towel."

It got me thinking about change though. I don't like change either. I think most people resist change. In this case, Elliot hated change so much that he refused something he usually loves so much. Do we do the same thing? For instance, when a best friend gets married, but you are still single. Or when your friends are having babies, but you aren't at that point in your life yet. We stop calling as much, or don't hang out as much. Why do we push something or someone we love so much away instead of embracing the changes? Just like the quote at the top says, resisting the changes only brings sorrow. It doesn't stop the changes from occurring.

Life doesn't stop moving. We can't stay in one place. “When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back." ― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym

Maya Angelou said, “Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” I've done this before...stayed in a relationship that was not good for me, nor what I wanted, because I was afraid of change. Or kept a job I hated because I was afraid of starting over. 

Sometimes change is painful, even good change. You can't have a child without going through the pain of childbirth. Moving to TN was one of the hardest things I've done, but I knew it was a good change. Isaiah 66:9 says, "In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord." If we hadn't moved to TN, we would still be in a tiny condo with my children looking out the window at the outside world...not running around in the grass and sun. (Our condo was lovely, and definitely a blessing. It was just too small for our growing family.)

Embrace change. Even if it takes everything you have inside you. Don't let a friend go just because they are at a different stage in their life. Celebrate this time. If you hate your job, take a risk and find one you love. Make the most of this life!

Here are some more quotes about change that I like.

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” ― Eric Roth, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screenplay


Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”