Expectations

A friend recently wrote a blog about how different her life is from what her 17 year old self imagined. It made me look back to what I thought my life would be like and what I thought I wanted. When I was younger, I wanted to be a pastor's wife by 18 and start having lots of kids. Needless to say, as the years went by, I felt more and more like an old spinster. I was in such a rush to get married and have that life that I could have married someone that would have been very detrimental to my spirit and heart. Thankfully, I escaped the life I almost had.

Then I met Josh. He came in to my office one day to visit his friend, who was also my good friend. As soon as Josh left the office, I turned to Jason and asked who the hottie was. Jason, of course, got right on the phone and told Josh. The next day, a beautiful bouquet of flowers showed up with my name on them. Josh included a very sweet note.

We went on a couple of dates over the next year or so, but lost touch in between. I think I fought falling in love with him. I think subconsciously I thought that as long as I didn't fall in love, I wouldn't be the one to get hurt again. HOWEVER, he made me fall in love with him. Sneaky, sneaky man.

Today, I am SO incredibly thankful for the life I got! I may not have the ring on my finger yet, but I know this is the man I am going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I may be 25, 7 years older than expected, but He was so worth the wait. I am happy for life's unexpected twists and turns that brought me to where I am today.

Adjustment Bureau

Josh & I just watched the new movie "Adjustment Bureau". I thought it was a great movie. It really makes you think. What if this was reality? The whole movie is about free will. Matt Damon meets a girl in a bathroom and it changes his life. The two of them think they were meant for each other. After a series of events of these "people" trying to remove her from his life, he comes to find out everyone has a set plan in life. There are "people" watching over the whole world to make sure that you end up where you are supposed to be according to this plan. If something happens, and you deviate from the plan, these "people" make small adjustments to get you back on the right track. In the movie, Matt Damon is not meant to be with this girl, but he can't stop thinking of her. He learns that the reason is because they can both be something great if they stay apart, but if they are together they grow complacent and don't become anything special. They are happy but not extraordinary.

He has to choose whether he wants them to be together costing not only his but her dreams too. He has to decide whether to trust "them" that they know what is best, or trust his heart and follow a path where he doesn't know the outcome. I think it is sort of like real life in that we all think we know what is best or what we want. We can't see the bigger picture though. Just like that song, Thank God for Unanswered Prayers", we don't know anything beyond this moment. How we feel today not be how we feel in a year.

The movie made me think though... I caught myself going back and forth between thinking he should just listen to "them" and do what they said was best for him, and thinking they are the bad guys just trying to keep him from what he was really meant for.

I've often wished in life that we didn't have free will. I've thought life would be so much easier if we didn't have choices. However, this movie really makes you think about just that. We think we don't want to make choices in life, but how would you feel if the choices were taken away? Would you trust the person making the choices for you, or would you fight with all you had to regain control?